Blogger: Campaign Manager for the Black Robin & Actress, Lisa Chapell.
Dear Mum and Dad,
I need your help. Cousin Bob just ran off with the love of my life – Cousin Sarah and I’m desperate to get her back. Can you talk to God for me? I thought since you were in heaven, it might be quicker?
It’s so hard these days to even get a date, not like in Great Grandfather Yellow’s day, he was super lucky, he had zero competition and Dad you only had Uncle Sam and Uncle Tom, me I’ve got over a hundred cousins to contend with now. Not that I’m complaining, I know how hard it was for the family when the two legged giants came and the big burnings happened. And the horror of their ferocious attack cats. I still wake up from nightmares of Great Uncle Pete being devoured by a cat. I know there’s no cats anymore, but there could be, it just takes one of the two legged giants to come over to our island and bring the beasts with them. But I know what you’re saying Mum, I worry too much.
The other thing I’m losing sleep over Mum, is Cousin Jack. He’s coughing., real bad. Aunt Martha has him in her nest, so he’s in isolation, but what if it spreads and it wipes us all out? It could you know. We’re not strong now that we’re all related. Anyway, I’m sure he’ll be alright. I hope so. It’s a really bad cough.
Please give my respects to Old Blue and Old Yellow, they are such legends, and to Great, Grandmother Tit, she’s a legend too, I think Aunt Martha is channeling her sometimes, she always takes in the chicks if the mum’s aren’t coping.
Hey Dad! Apparently we’re all famous, did you know that? I heard a seagull say that our fostering programme is all over the world. Wow. Little Chatham Island Robins, famous. Who’d have thought.
Anyway, I need to go find some worms, I’m starving, but I just need you to put in a good word to God for me about Cousin Sarah, I really love her, I really do. She’s got the prettiest brown feathers, and her legs, wowza! Great legs! I don’t know what she sees in Cousin Bob, he’s just a big show off. So what his wing span’s bigger than mine? That’s not going to help him if the killer cats come back is it?
Anyway I miss you both,
All my love
P.S I don’t know if heaven lets the giant two legged creatures in but if they do please give my best to Mr Merton. He’s the biggest legend of all! Our saviour.