I’ve never seen a dotterel on a quad bike
Or an oystercatcher in a gleaming ute
I’ve never caught a godwit doing wheelies
On a trail bike, in a bright leather suit

For theirs is the true world of nature
A world of beauty, of charm and of grace
And there’s a sense to the natural order
That enhances the look of a place

Birds inhabit our beaches and mudflats
And flock to our lovely coastline
But beware of rednecked homo sapiens
And the mantra ‘What’s yours is now mine!’

We’ve been plagued by introduced species
It’s driven folks sheer out of their mind
There’s been possums, rabbits and weasels
But the worst is the petrol-driven kind

After hours battling traffic on our highways
Your much-prized destination to reach
The irony (shock/horror) when you get there
Is to find yet more vehicles on the beach

So when did walking go right out of fashion?
The exercise that’s so good for our bods
And how come our beaches’ new drivers
Are the obese, overweight lazy sods?

I’ve some advice for this breed of invaders
The despoilers of pristine coastline
As birds use their wings, try using your legs
(They’re those things below your waistline.)

One section of the bay is to have no vehicles, but its not of great interest to wildlife, and the reason was to protect bathers from getting run over and children getting their sand architecture wrecked. It’s still full slather over important areas for birds, and no doubt shellfish! Those storm and wave-proof fences that will have to be erected to stop errant vehicles travelling up the beach should really tax the planners.

The rest of the bay is to have speed limits - though I would be interested to see how the speed will be measured and then enforced. Presumably some young ranger will hide behind a dune or among the driftwood and spring up with a radar gun, ready to deploy the beachspikes, whilst shouting ‘gotcha!’.

As a bit of an addition to the argument the main reason I felt for the bay/beach to be open to vehicles was for fishermans access as their gear (and maybe their catch) is too heavy to either carry for about 10 minutes walk, or put on a hand trolley. Some fishermen also seem to be worried about leaving their cars at the road ends while they go fishing as car theft/vandalism is supposedly rife in N Canterbury. Can’t say I’ve ever had a problem from car vandalism - the road ends are often safer than the beach itself, where I’ve been almost bowled more than once by someone lacking in cranial power on a bike. The beach is where the vandalism and theft is occuring, ecovandalism and theft of a safe, quiet (sadly mostly formerly) nature-filled environment. I’m sure if fishermen didn’t use the beach and it was a hoons vs bathers/wildlife argument then vehicles on beaches would be a yesteryear issue.

Its not just bikes either, no matter how many wheels they have. Vehicles leave tyremarks - a kind of mechanical spoor. This enables even simpletons to work out what is doing the damage. So the vehicle that drove straight through the low dunes the other week with no regard for what vegetation or bird nest was in its way was a Merivale tractor - or maybe a bike with its wheels widened to over 4 feet apart and fitted with road tyres - and it had to have driven past one of those so effective (…not!) educational signs saying don’t drive in the dunes. At a guess the vehicle that pulled the fence posts directing vehicles down to the lower beach at Ashworths was also a sports futility vehicle as a bike would be lacking in the kiloNewton department. And these examples are just a drop in the ocean that I predict will continue, despite planned visits from almost certainly overstretched rangers.

Its also interesting that local referendums were ignored in drawing up the plan. The result of the Waikuku one was wholeheartedly in favour of severe restriction/no vehicles in that local area, and I believe Woodend likewise.